2 Simple Truths On Your Journey To The Next Thing
In 2015 we had two sons under the age of 3. I was creeping up on turning 32, was exhausted from this new parenting thing I was still figuring out, and had grown bored with the job I’d been in for 8 years.
My interests have always been varied. I’m the kind of person that will try something, feel like I figured it out, and then throw it in the corner. Kind of a jack-of-all-trades, but expert in none.
This has made finding a “calling” or “vocation” or meaning in my work really difficult.
Basically I like everything, but nothing really keeps me interested long enough to spark a passion. (Yes… I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child.)
The Discovery
On my journey of looking for something else, and what could maybe be my next thing, I happened upon Jeff Goins, who was in the midst of a pre-sale campaign for his book The Art of Work.
I enjoyed his writing, and he seemed like a good dude. So I pre-ordered the book, devoured my bonus content that came with it, and waited for my physical copy to arrive.
The way Jeff writes just clicks with me. I don’t know what it is other than I feel like he’s writing for me and not simply writing to me. The Art of Work was one of those books I read at exactly the right moment in my life. Every sentence was either an “a-ha!” moment, or a “this guys just gets it” feeling.
What set me on my current path was a part in the book where Jeff talks about examining your past to see common threads.
I dissected my hobbies, things I enjoyed in school, jobs I previously had, tasks I enjoyed at those jobs, etc., and writing kept peeking its little head out to look at me.
- As I kid I had a couple of pen pals (this was prior to email and texting where you actually wrote hand-written letters to friends that didn’t live near you)
- As a teenager I journaled a lot, wrote poems, and eventually got into song writing
- My mom worked for a publisher for a couple years where I took a summer job copying manuscripts for reviews and editing
- I excelled in my writing classes in college
- As an administrative assistant I enjoyed editing emails for my bosses before they sent them out
- In that same administrative job, we had several employee transitions that required large-scale communications. I loved editing and rewriting those so they were clear, concise, and a great representation of our work place
- My aunt and uncle are successful writers and editors
- My mom is now a successful freelance typesetter (she designs the interior of books)
Following this thread I wondered why it never dawned on me before.
My whole life there was an element of writing and books at every stage. I almost felt stupid when I stepped back and looked at it all. But I put the book down and said,
“I am a writer.”
Thus began my ferocious digestion of information on blogging and platforms and websites and all I needed to be a writer.
I consumed every piece of free content I could find. And since this is the internet, I found TONS.
There was an encyclopedia on writing online in my brain, yet I only wrote a few articles.
The old me took over again.
I felt like I learned about something new, could add it to my jack-of-all-trades quiver, and be done.
Two years went by. I had started a blog, wrote a little here and there. But nothing serious.
In my head I wanted to be serious, but I had no actions to back it up. I was just a guy who started a blog once.
Even Less Time To Write
At this point we had our baby girl. Three kids and a full-time job doesn’t open up a lot of windows of time to write.
But I kept reading stories of people who had “made it” or were “on their way” and they were busy like me.
What gives? Why can’t I do what they do?
I decided it was time to invest in myself.
Spending Money That’s Hard To Spend
For 3 years I had read blogs and joined email lists to be able to read the free ebooks on writing and how to grow your platform. I actually even purchased a couple books, but certainly wasn’t a big spender.
This wasn’t because I was cheap, but because we haven’t had extra money floating around for me to buy things we don’t need. We’ve got 3 kids.
Then I did.
I got a little extra gift from work at the end of the year. There were bills pay, student loans and credit cards it could go to, or the upcoming moving expenses since we had to be out of our home in 3 months.
The money might has well have been spent before we even had it given to us.
But after a long talk with my wife, we agreed to invest the whole thing in an online course in hopes that I could make some strides.
Being that I spent money we needed elsewhere on myself the stakes have been raised. It’s been amazing to see the amount of attention I’ve given this thing simply because a lot of money (for us it’s a lot) is on the line.
For the last 6 months (minus a 4 week span where we moved twice and life sort of blew up in my face) I have been journaling, setting goals, reading more than ever, and writing more than I have in 20 years.
I’ve even spent more time with my family than I regularly do.
Spending a chunk of money, and doing the course work, has shifted my thinking and forced me to analyze my life in a way I never had before.
I never thought TV, social media, or games on my phone had control over my life. But once I started really picking apart my days and how I spent my time, I saw how I fit all those things in the margins or in the middle of parenting, marriage, and work.
These were all tiny interruptions and distractions throughout the day that seemed insignificant.
When I added them all up it was the time I needed to start journaling again (which I hadn’t done since we started having kids), and get writing done that I needed.
I deleted social media from my phone, and the game that occupied most my bathroom time (sorry Hearthstone), and cut my TV consumption from roughly 1–2 hours a night to about 2–4 hours a week.
The anxiety of hitting delete on my phone and knowing the DVR would pile up with hours of my shows almost killed me.
I thought this stuff is what I need to relax and have down time. This is good for me to have something that helps escape the day’s madness. What am I going to do to wind down?
I haven’t missed it at all.
In fact, I think I have 10x more peace in my day.
The purposeful escape from the noise of social media has been enlightening. I realized the emotional energy that was sucked out of me by just reading all that junk.
And a couple TV shows I thought I’d miss keeping up with actually got canceled. Why go back to watch all those episodes at this point?
Now that time belongs to my journal where I scribble thoughts on where I want to go in life, and to reading books that are enriching and enhancing my life.
The time also goes to putting effort into something I’ve wanted to do for a long while.
Write.
You may click on my profile and wonder where all my content is. There isn’t a whole of consistency there. Kinda looks like what I described I used to do. A little here, a little there, and nothing.
But the truth is I’ve been writing every day for quite awhile, and I have an Evernote notebook full of stuff. I just haven’t been able to finish them and get over my fear of posting them for public consumption.
This is the next step in my journey: Posting regularly.
This post is my 6th in just over 2 weeks, which is a ton for me. It marks the beginning of the end of the middle of a writing career that started years ago, but is just starting to gain momentum.
I’m stepping into the fear and posting regardless of whether it meets my need for perfection or not.
Through all my ups and downs in writing habits, learning about myself, and learning to balance work and family, two things have become my truths.
This is my self-talk to keep me going.
1) Patience is king.
You have a full-time job and a family to care for. You aren’t in your mid-twenties and no kids anymore, so don’t beat yourself up for not pumping out loads of content. Your goal is to write something every day. You just did. Good job.
2) The little stuff all adds up.
All those tiny slivers of the day that went games and Twitter and TV can now be moments in the day you make progress. Read and write whenever you can. 100 words becomes 1,000 and then 10,000 pretty quick.
This has been my journey to here.
What’s yours been like? What’s your story?
Take a step back and find the common thread that’s woven through your history. It just might launch you on a new path of discovery.
Buy Jeff Goins’ book, The Art of Work. I highly recommend it in addition to his other stuff.
As you figure out the path you’re on, be patient with yourself and just keep taking whatever the next step is. All those little things will add up to where you want to go.
You can start a new journey from there when you arrive.
Want a New Perspective?
I’ve created a measuring guide to alter how you view your marriage and your spouse. Ask yourself these questions, your mindset will shift quickly.
