It was an interesting weekend on Medium seeing all the dad/father posts that went up. I read several that came across my feed. Some made me laugh, others cry.
All of them made me think.
Am I doing this right? Am I screwing my kids up? What will they think of me when they’re adults and they look back on how their mother and I raised them? Am I as good of a dad as the one in that story?
We all have different backgrounds, upbringing, and histories that create the story of who we are. To be on Medium and read about the not-so-good dads, the most amazing fathers, and those who left this world too early is an honor. I sometimes can’t believe people put this stuff out there for public consumption. It truly is a gift to us as readers.
I start to wonder why the writer got so lucky to have such an awesome dad in their life. Then I read another post and wonder how I got lucky to have the dad I have.
When reading and hearing other people’s stories my mind immediately dissects my own roles as father and son.
My childhood is filled with scars left by my parents, and many of those by my dad. But encountering all the dad/father posts this weekend reminds me that no matter what the situation is, my upbringing was a lot better than some and also worse than others.
One thing that is true in my life, and seemed to be true in all I read, is the theme of wanting to be being better than our parents were. It’s not just being better than bad parents. Even those with the best dad ever want to take it to the next level with their own children.
I think of not just my parents raising me, but the stories of their parents raising them. And then my grandparents’ young lives in my great grandparents’ homes. In each generation, going back to the 4th generation, I know the parenting has improved. I’m blessed to have been born in the 1980s as opposed to the 1890s.
It’s a powerful thing to know that we are standing on the shoulders of dads and grandads before us now lifting our own kids up to new heights.
I think I’m a pretty decent dad, and I’m constantly striving to get better.
My only hope is that my 3 kids are even better parents to their children.
Maybe they’ll write a Medium article about me.
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