How Being Vulnerable Strengthened My Ego

Adam Hillis
4 min readJan 5, 2018
Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

…those of us who are never satisfied with our accomplishments secretly believe nobody will love us unless we’re perfect.

-Donald Miller Scary Close

The ability to provide for those we love is a sensitive thing for men. We often draw a lot of our worth from the lives we can give those we love. When what we provide is put in jeopardy by the loss of a job, or home, or other difficult situation, we tend to immediately carry a burden larger than normal.

The home my wife and I have been renting for the last 10+ years is being sold. All but the first 6 months of our marriage has been in this house. Our two oldest took their first steps in our living room, and our baby is currently crawling all over it.

The gravity of losing the place we’ve built our family is great, but it’s compounded with the significant rent increase that’s headed our way. We’ve been blessed to pay below market price to live here. Looking at our options has brought the reality that we may have to go from a 1600sqft 3-bedroom house with a fenced backyard and two-car garage, to a 900sqft 2-bedroom apartment.

As the main provider I have felt an enormous amount of insecurity and inadequacy the last several months that we’ve sat with this news. My ego and sense of self has steadily dwindled. Much of it is what I’d…

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Adam Hillis

Crafting educational email courses for coach/creators || Coaching men to connect w/ their wife & kids, and themselves || I juggle marriage, kids, and words