I love my wife very much, and our story is still going. :-)
That’s not to say there haven’t been some incredibly difficult times that we’ve faced since the season I mentioned in the article. But we continue to choose to stay, choose to love, and choose to work on our stuff. In the moment of a fight we certainly don’t want to stay, or love, or work on ourselves. But it is continually holding true to the vows we said: For better or worse. Sometimes we stay only because we promised we would. Not because we feel like it.
I’ve lost hope many times, so I understand that feeling. But because of our willingness to come back around and work things out, I get to watch the hopelessness fade away.
28 years is a long time to not have hope. My heart hurts for you and your marriage, and I know God’s does too. So many times when I’m in pain from my marriage I feel like God doesn’t see me. But I know that’s a lie. He loves us and wants what is best for us. But sometimes it is up to us get there. God doesn’t just wave a magical wand and fix our marriages or our lives. We get to use our free will to make choices to better ourselves and our relationships. But we can tap into his heart through prayer, reading the Bible, the Holy Spirit, meditation, and any other way you may connect to God. He will offer guidance, but won’t just do it for us.
One of my favorite books on relationships is called Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk. I’d encourage you to read it. If they’re willing, read it with your spouse.
My wife and I have also found help with counseling. If you haven’t tried it I would maybe give that a shot too. Adding a third party to the mix who is professionally trained does wonders. They can not only be a mediator in tough situations, but offer tools to help at home.
I will pray for you and your marriage and that God will restore your hope.