This is a great point in how we use this as a weapon. The constant threat is the power we can wield to try to steer things our way.

But similarly, we can keep our mouth shut, knowing that this statement will mean what we say when we do finally use it.

We purposefully don't use it because we want it to build more power. We want the absence of using the words, "I'm done" or "I want a divorce" or anything alike to be like gunpowder that we slowly pack into a bomb a little at a time.

Then, when we're sick of it all, we drop the bomb.

It's still our weapon, even though we didn't use it as frequent as our spouse. It's our secret weapon.

The difficult thing is to not have it as a weapon at all. Whether we use it regularly as a knife to make little cuts, or we are saving it as an option to just nuke the whole place.

What if the weapon just didn't exist? What would our marriages look like?

That's been my challenge to myself. How do I eliminate the thought of it being an option from my mind?